Fluttering and Such

This is it.

It’s time to go.

I have packed up all of my worldly possessions.
Every belonging and every memory that I hold dear.

All the rest, I have gladly let go.

Moving day is here.

A bittersweet goodbye.
And then … a bright new beginning.

The last 60 days, since this unexpected move came my way,
have been intense to say the least.
I have ridden a rollicking roller coaster of Self inquiry, Self discovery,
(Self freakin’ the f*ck out), Self evolution, and Self mastery in this time.

I feel like I have lived a small lifetime in the 8 weeks that just went by.

I am well pleased to be on the other side of it.

I like the view from here.

Last week, e/S and I stayed up all night talking on the phone.
As, in seriously, the whole night through until 5:30 a.m.
(Do you have a friend who loves you enough to do this with you?
If not, my heart encourages you to find one,
as a friend like this is beyond priceless.)

e/S has known me a long time.
She knew me when I was married.
She knew me when I was a Zombie.
She knew me when I was summoning the courage to leave.

And she has known me every step of the way
as I’ve stepped blinking into the blinding light of this new world of mine.
She has been there to witness every triumph and every stumble.

On our all-night phone call she and I walked through
the time and space that I have been immersed in this huge transition.
We meandered through all the memories …
through the milestones and the lessons and the faces that have come
(and those that have gone).

We sifted through it all and pulled all the details apart.

We reflected on all things 503.
We talked about the first day I moved into Cuddle House.

Where I was then.
Where I wasn’t.
And all the places I have traveled inside my Self between that day and this.

And our conclusion at the end of this reflection was:
for a woman who has yet to really go anywhere …

I have traversed a Universe!

I have explored the heights and depths and far off distant stars in me,
all of it swirling and spinning around and about,
only to lead me right back to the very same place again:
the beginning.

A new one.

So here I am. This is it.
It’s time to go.

Time to truly start.

But you know what?
I already have.

Someone once cradled my face
and said: “Cris, love yourself.
You need to love yourself.”

But loving my Self was never the problem.
I have adored my Self all along in the best possible way.
I have always (even as I stumbled) been reaching for the joy
I know I deserve.

I was just getting to know my Self.
I have been settling in.

Because so much of my true Self had been shut down for so much of my life
that finally having a chance to live fully in my own skin was terrifyingly unfamiliar.
It was entirely uncharted territory that I was venturing in.

It took some figuring out. Some getting used to.
An acclimation period if, you will.
And Cuddle House was the perfect, sweet, outside shelter
that gave me sacred space to blossom within.

All of this time, looking outside and then finally inside my Self,
I’ve just been rearranging the furniture.

Discarding clutter. Sweeping out dusty corners.
And figuring out which pieces of  the beautiful artwork of my spirit
to display for the world to see .

Tomorrow, I am moving.

Not to some new magical little nest in which to hunker down.
But rather, I’m just moving to a new house.
A darling house, mind you. (I love this new house.)
But it’s just a house.

Because I’ve finally unfolded into my Self.

I’ve finally tethered in, found my ease,
and have put the facets of Me in all the right places.

Now I am ready to open the windows of my Spirit wide
and let the soft, mysterious breeze of Life blow in.

It feels so good to be Home.

-   –   –   –   -

What about YOU?
Where are you flying off to in your life these days?
Cheers to new beginnings.